I don’t really know how to start this, so I’m just going to write.
It’s January, it’s cold in Alaska, and today I finally admitted to myself that I can’t keep doing this anymore. I’ve carried my financial mess quietly for years, not because I’m embarrassed, but because talking about money feels like handing someone my diary. It’s personal. It’s vulnerable. It says more about me than I sometimes want to admit.
But I’m tired of pretending I’ve got it all under control.
So… here I am. Day 1.
Writing it down.
Starting over.
Again.
My total debt is $122,653 and that’s just the credit cards.
It doesn’t even include the mortgage. Seeing that number still makes my stomach drop, but there it is. It exists whether I write it down or not. I’ve tried ignoring it, minimizing it, “someday-ing” it, none of that worked. So I’m doing the thing that scares me most: I’m telling the truth out loud.
I’m sharing this because I want to connect with people who get it.
People who budget at midnight.
People who stare at their bank apps way too often.
People who mess up, fix it, mess up again, and keep going anyway.
People like me.
I don’t have a magical plan. I don’t have a secret trick. I’m not going to pretend this journey is cute or aesthetic or easy. I just know I’m done avoiding the hard parts. I want to be intentional this year, with my time, my money, and my future. I want stability. I want freedom. I want a life where money isn’t a constant source of stress buzzing in the back of my mind.
And I want a place to sort through all of it, the numbers, the emotions, the progress, the setbacks. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m writing. If someone out there reads this and thinks, “Okay, I’m not the only one,” then good. But even if no one reads it, this space is for me.
A place to keep myself accountable.
A place to be honest.
A place to remember that starting over isn’t failure. It’s just a beginning.
So this is my beginning.
Day 1.
Let’s see where this goes.
January 10th, 2026 at 08:18 am 1768033087
Oh yes, when it comes to messing up in personal finances, you're looking at one of, if not The Resident Expert on that subject.
However, even at 3am, I am also perusing through SavingAdvice blogs if that helps or says anything.
As well, I totally get about the personal part in personal finance. It can be so revealing over my own foolish decisions, over a subject that is so important. Luckily, you are among a very supportive group here, so welcome indeed.
By the way, what is your definition of "cold" because I believe that might be different from the mainland. For me, 40F is the beginning of cold, and anything lower just starts to get ridiculous as everything starts to ice over.
January 10th, 2026 at 03:01 pm 1768057294
January 10th, 2026 at 03:58 pm 1768060697
The first step is the most important one, and you've taken it.
And, as an accountant, you have more financial knowledge than most to help you through this.
And, as a 30-something, you have the benefit of time. It will feel slow, but eventually, you'll look back and be proud at how far you've come!
January 10th, 2026 at 10:22 pm 1768083730
You may have already discovered this, but I wanted to warn you that you should always copy your post before you hit Publish as it is nearly always lost. I'm convinced this is the main reason why this site probably hasn't grown much in years (based on how many regularly post here).
It's good to start off with full transparency about your debt. Are you using any techniques to pay off the credit cards? Like focusing on the ones with the highest interest rate? Are you able to pay minimum balances?
January 11th, 2026 at 06:29 am 1768112945
January 14th, 2026 at 09:56 pm 1768427788
January 16th, 2026 at 07:43 pm 1768592623
January 22nd, 2026 at 04:51 pm 1769100696
January 25th, 2026 at 01:37 am 1769305028
January 26th, 2026 at 01:04 am 1769389486
@MonkeyMama: Thank you so much! I really appreciate the welcome🤍
@Dido: Thank you, I really appreciate that perspective. The time piece especially hit. Slow progress is still progress, and I’m here for the long game. Grateful to be part of this community.
@patientsaver: Thank you for the welcome and the heads-up! That’s super helpful advice. Transparency is definitely the goal, and I’m currently focusing on getting organized and tackling the highest-interest debt first. I appreciate the support!
@Petunia: Thank you so much 🤍 That means a lot. I’m really glad to be here.
@LivingAlmostLarge: Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement - one step at a time.
@rob62521: Thank you, I really appreciate this reminder! Progress isn’t perfect, but I’m committed to staying in it and moving forward even when it’s messy.
@Petunia 100: Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support and look forward to being more active here.
@RB: Thank you, I really needed this. I’m learning to accept that it won’t be linear, but I’m committed to staying consistent and showing up anyway. Grateful for the support here!